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TEXT [ YAMANEKO ] |
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2/2
...
He doesn’t understand how this has occurred. How it’s even still relevant. Surely killing Alex would have rendered that null and void. But no, she hadn’t said it in past tense. He wonders if Asirpa would have said the same. He never had the chance to find out. He’d never hurt her either.]
I didn’t, because you’ve never given me a reason to. That could change easily. There’s nothing about me to like that’s worth that risk.
[He pauses, before adding,]
There’s nothing about me that someone like you has a use for.
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That phrasing wipes everything else he's just said from her mind like a slap in the face. She has to pause, blinking down at her bracer like it's personally offended her, and mentally play all that back to even begin to absorb the rest of what he's said.
And there's a lot jumbled up in her brain. Scattered things; whether something or someone might hurt her isn't a risk, isn't even a consideration; the real risk is upsetting the people who, somehow, love her dearly. But all the stuff he said still doesn't indicate that he hurts people just for fun. And she thinks he might have just threatened her?
A use.
Her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth for a moment, but eventually she finds the words, though they aren't as well thought out as her previous attempts.] I don't like people just because they're useful, y'know.
But you did teach me to waltz, so...
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Though, he also had a vivid memory of First Lieutenant Tsurumi smiling at him warmly. You’re doing an excellent job, Hyakunosuke, he’d leaned in to whisper. Through the haze of drink that had been forced upon him, Ogata had thrilled at it and thought that maybe this was how it felt to have a father.
Of course, that version of Tsurumi had died long before the Hunger consumed the madman that had replaced him. No, he’d probably never even been real in the first place. Ogata had just been young and stupid and taken in by a role the man had played.
Finally, Ogata just sighs.]
I don’t know. I don’t understand. That’s how it’s always worked for me before. People keep saying that here, that people don’t need to be “useful.” Normally I’d just assume you were lying the way people always do, but it’s the only way your behavior makes sense.
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She makes a soft thoughtful noise. If this is how it's always been for him, he clearly came from a very messed up situation back home. Maybe a whole messed up world. She can relate to that, at least.
Suddenly, a question occurs to her.] If that's how it is for you, what's my use? I'm not very useful.
[It's not an attempt to trap him in his own logic. It's genuine curiosity—appropriately subdued for the conversation, but straightforward in its intent nonetheless.]
1/2
Sure, he could just say he doesn't have a use for Sayori and why should he anyway?? What stops him is what she said earlier. That she likes him, for some inexplicable arcane reason he can't hope to understand. It's not like he's been nice. Or well, maybe for him, he has been.
It addresses some sort of need Ogata can't really articulate because it's not one he ever really interfaces with. The need to be cared about. So neglected is it that he's generally most comfortable when people clearly don't want him around, or at least don't care one way or another, purely out of familiarity. Being faced with the opposite is alien and the uncertainty makes him want to avoid it. He doesn't want to be tricked and used again.
Sayori smiled at him. She taught him about poetry. More than anything, she refuses to hate him even now that she knows what he's really like. The irrational, scared animal part of his brain wants to kill her for that. To remove the inconsistency from the way he sees the world. But there have been too many challenges to that world lately. Besides, he's positive he wouldn't survive the aftermath. It's not like he could run away the way he normally does. The bracers have trackers on them.]
You're absolutely terrifying.
[Ogata what the FUCK does that mean.]
2/2 --> TEXT
I almost forgot
I did write... something. I'm still not sure if it counts as a poem
[And attached is an image of the poem Ogata wrote.]
1/3
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3/3 --> text
Unfortunately, it's almost like being drawn to poetry is in her programming or something. And maybe it will give her some answers for that completely baffling sentence he just said.
So she reads it. And it's...well, again, she didn't really know what she expected. But as before, she has no reason to lie about this.]
it looks like a poem to me
its really good! id never know you hadnt written like that before!
did it help?
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I'm not sure yet.
Maybe I need to write more.
As far as hobbies go, I suppose I don't mind this one.
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[Though she'd encourage any non-violent hobby at this point given what she now knows about Ogata. But she does sincerely believe that writing might help him work his way through...
...well, the strange loss and emptiness present in the poem he just shared. And whatever else has caused him to decide that she's something to be scared of.]
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He think he will write more. That's not the problem. The problem is part of him feels the need to say something else. He has been jerking her around a bit this conversation. Trying to get her to lose her patience with him. Decide he's not worth the trouble. Take back the nice things she said. She hasn't, though. At a certain point, there can't be a reason to maintain a pretense. At a certain point, the only explaination left is that it's all genuine.
Yeah, that's what's so terrifying about her. But, still. She said she liked him. That's going to stick with him for a while.]
Thank you
[For what? For a lot of things. It was a monumental effort just to send even that. Case in point;]
If you tell anyone about this I won't forgive you
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If he often shoots people he disagrees with, Sayori can't really blame people for giving him a wide berth, but. If nobody's ever nice to him that's all the more reason to try.]
(＾◡＾)
[There, that one is simple, surely he will be able to see that his gratitude has made her smile.]
dont worry im great at keeping secrets!
but you already told a bunch of people u wrote a poem so theyre probably gonna figure out were friends at least
[Now she has also said they are friends. Perish, Ogata.]
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This is a whole new tier of confusion. No one has ever sincerely called him their friend. He's been associates, co-conspirators, comrades in arms. Those all come with some level of professionalism. Some level of necessity. Not this.]
What are you talking about
[SURELY THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE]
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???
are u surprised im good at keeping secrets? i know i dont seem all that smart but i can be super sneaky i promise! (･ω<)☆
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No
You said we’re friends
?
[He would have just thought he’d misheard except this is text and he can see the previous message clear as day]
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oh
yeah!
[...after a moment, she realizes that this may not be a sufficient explanation.]
friends help each other even when they dont have to you know? theyre people you like! so it seems like were friends to me
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I know what the word means.
It’s just that no one has ever called me their friend before.
[So like... are you sure.]
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She types thats really sad and then deletes it before sending it because she figures he would not appreciate that.
But wow, that is really sad. No wonder he's so...like this.]
well now i have!!! (=^`ω´^=)
(thats another cat)
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That’s better than the last one, I think. It looks very satisfied
You know, back in the army, the men in my regiment called me wildcat.
[Yamaneko, wildcat. That’s where his username must’ve come from. He’s leaving out that it was actually a fairly disparaging nickname referring to his mother’s line of work. No need to continue being a downer.]
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thats such a cool nickname (°ロ°) !
[She is, of course, completely unaware of its context. Probably for the best.]
ive never had a nickname like that lol ppl just call me sayori!
[...and "princess" if you're Mista, but considering what she's been feeling through the Oath, she doesn't really want to bring him into this conversation...]
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[Ogata, Internally: Oh my god that one has paws on it.]
Do you want one? A nickname, I mean.
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i think id still want people to call me sayori sometimes (´ ∀ `)ヾ but a nickname would be rly fun and cute!!! (＾◡＾∞)
[That one has her hair bow.
Boy it's nice to pretend this is a normal conversation!]
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You remind me of daifuku but I don’t suppose that’s a particularly fun or cute thing to call someone.
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And this is...genuinely endearing, somehow. It does vindicate her decision to be nice to him in some ways.]
omg (*♡∀♡)!!! no thats super cute i love it!!! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ☆ i could eat daifuku all the time hehehe
whyd u think of that? is it bc theyre so soft??? ( ˙▿˙ )
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