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[A small part of Ogata's brain thinks he should not find that as comforting as he does but y'know. Oh well.]

I just needed to hear someone say it. Most of you aren't behaving in a way that makes any sort of sense.
[This is his element. This is what he's used to.]

Or rather, most of you won't admit it. Maybe modern society has become too separated from the wild. People have forgotten that it's we're all animals and it's natural to want to kill each other when they become threats.

Why'd you need to hear it if you don't care about anything?

[Just wondering. Or maybe Ogata's just being smarmy, who knows.]

I don't think it's about admitting it or not. Some people just haven't had to live the kinda life where they worried about surviving the shit that people do to each other.

[Like Alex. Alex was afraid of a supernatural force. He wasn't afraid of getting locked up for the rest of his life by a system that's inherently corrupt, or of dying bloody on some empty street at the hands of some overpowered psycho. That's a different life, and it builds you different. Not better or worse, just different.]

I'm from the same time the rest of 'em are, more or less. I've just had to do things a lot of 'em haven't. It's not about wild or tame, it's luck of the draw.

I never said I didn't care about anything. I said I wasn't sure.

[It's complicated. What's caring supposed to mean exactly, anyway. He certainly wants things. But that's not what Mista asked.

Frankly, he wasn't expecting Mista to give such a response. He thought he'd get more of an angry reaction. But this isn't so bad, he supposes.]

And what sort of life is it that you lived that made you dirty your hands more than the rest?

[He makes a noise like, fair enough. Privately he thinks that not being sure is pretty much the same thing, but what does he know. He's not in Ogata's head, thank God.]

[The truth of the matter is that in this, he thinks Ogata's mostly right; he just sees it from a different angle. Most people these days don't live in a world where they need to kill or be killed. That's good. That's how it should be. He's glad that most of the people he knows here, or the people his age, anyway, never had to kill anyone, or watch another human being take the life of someone they loved. Just because he can't imagine that reality for himself and wouldn't take most of what he's done back, doesn't mean that it isn't a good thing to strive for.]

[The fact that so many other Reclaimers don't see Ogata as someone who needs to be put down doesn't make them weak. It makes them lucky. He's just lucky in different ways.]

I was an assassin.

[More or less. There's the sound of him shifting on the other end of the line, pensive and thoughtful.]

An' I guess maybe I said it wrong. It's not just what I've done, it's what I've seen. Enough people I care about have died in front of me that I know you can't always protect the people you love by taking the high road. It'd be nice, but it's not reality. So what I've done is part of it, a big part, but what I've seen is what makes me wanna kill you.

[Well. That's interesting. Unexpected, even. But it doesn't strike him as unbelievable enough to question it. Mista seems well built. And he's not afraid to say he'd kill someone. He'd pegged him as something like a soldier before, but really this isn't that different. He does hope, dimly, that Mista would dress differently one the job, though, because honestly.

But the logic is familiar, if not his own. It's exactly the way Sugimoto thinks. He took so many lives during the war, saw so many others die as well. His hands are already stained, so he might as well do whatever it takes to protect Asirpa's. To Ogata, it's a hollow sort of idealism. A coping mechanism. But that's neither here nor there.]

It's not something you can really ever come back from. You can act however you want, kind, polite, calm, it doesn't matter. There will always be that beast lurking under the surface.
[Watching it flow out of Sugimoto had been satisfying. It should be fun to draw it out of Mista, too.]

[On the other end of the line, he snorts.]

You think I act differently around other people to hide what I've done . . . ? I'm not smart enough for that, man.

[Maybe it's a beast if you lock it up. He never has, though. There's only ever been one of him. He's simple. The him that kills people is the same him that eats too much and feels sick and loves Pretty Woman and forgets to do his laundry until all his shirts are dirty.]

Maybe people get surprised about what I've done when they find out, but that's 'cause people make assumptions. There's nothing to come back from, Ogata, it's all part of me.

[Well this is a disappointing response. He's not sure if he really believes it, either, but he doesn't have any evidence to refute it. No, all he can really do is express general annoyance.]

That's ridiculous.
[He was supposed to get mad and defensive!!!???]

You shouldn't be able to live like that.

I'm not?

[There's a neutral noise from the other end of the line. Despite the fact that Mista's grinning.]

It seems easy enough to me. Seems way easier than trying to pretend. That's so much work. What's the problem?

[He tries to think for a long moment how to explain it before deciding he doesn't care enough to explain it to Mista of all people.]

Forget it. Can we just skip to the part where you tell me you'll kill me yourself if I try hurting Alex again?

I mean. If you want.

[The sound of Mista putting his boots up on the bedside table. Of all things. He taps his heels lightly against the surface.]

Doesn't have to be Alex, though. I wanna see how much of a threat you are long-term. So, Alex or somebody else, doesn't really matter. It's the action itself that'll get you killed, not the person.

... Understood. If something happens I expect I'll be anticipating visits from both you and Washinton, so you two might want to negotiate terms.

[He really doesn't seem too worried about the implicit death thread here.]

[Snort.]

Wasn't too efficient this time, was he.

[Yeah, he’ll laugh at that as well, though for different reasons.]

I believe his intent was to incapacitate me rather than kill me. Don’t hold it against him.

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